The (almost) 5K

Last weekend a local hospital sponsored a 5K.  It was cheap as it was only eighteen dollars.  Also, there were booths and lectures on women's health.  But honestly, I did it for the t-shirt.

There is a local place called the town center.  There are lots of shops, restaurants and a movie theater. In the middle of it all, there is an oval trail for walking and running.

Some of my friends were there, and I also made some new friends too.

I had worn my black running vest since the morning was a little chilly.  Plus I needed the pockets for my cell phone, car keys, and asthma inhaler. Usually my hydration belt is used for carrying all that but I felt I would look a bit silly wearing that to a 5K. By the end of the race, I was carrying the vest as it got a bit warm out.

We were told to do four laps around the trail and off we went.  It was kind of a tough trail.  The hills look deceptively low but they don't feel that way.  At the end of the race, I looked at my Garmin and it read a distance of 2.76.  I was tempted to go a bit farther just to get a full 5K, but since the main idea was to get the t-shirt, it didn't matter.

Then I went to some of the different stations that were set up.  I started out with the scales, brave me!  I weigh in at 188 with a body fat percentage of 43.8.  Oh good, the extra fat will help keep me warm in the winter!

Then I stood in line for the glucose test where they prick your finger but I chickened out and left.

Over to the flexibility test it was.  I had a miserable fail.  The instructions were to sit on the ground and touch your toes.  With much grunting and straining, I just barely touched them.  I was then told that with my lack of flexibility, I was in danger of rupturing a disc in my back.  So, I need to add stretching into my routine.  I hate, hate, hate yoga so I hope to find a mild stretching tape.

The next challenge was to do a plank for a minute.  During the plank, she had me hold up my right food and then my left foot.  I did the whole minute for the plank and could have gone longer.  Boo-yah.  Finally something I was good at!

Then I had my blood pressure checked.  It was 112/76, not too shabby.

There were also seminars inside a restaurant.  I went inside to get some free coffee and what did I see displayed larger than life on a large screen television?  It was a VAGINA.  The first talk was on women's health down under.  My friend Jodi was with me and I whispered aghast, "That's a vajayjay!"  A gentleman standing nearby smiled, looked at me calmly, and said, "I know."  How embarrassing but funny at the same time.  When we went outside, I told Jodi we should have played vulva Bingo.  She told me the man was a gynecologist where she worked.  So I guess he wasn't just some dude who likes vaginas. Oh wait, I guess he was.


We had a really fun time.  I did some shopping at the nearby Target afterward. The house was out of toilet paper, a bad thing indeed.  Then I drove home and collapsed on the couch.  Normally less than three miles doesn't take it out of me, but I am dealing with some stress right now, mostly busy stress.  Stress tends to make me want to sleep and avoid life.

It was a great day and I really enjoyed it. If they hold one next year, I will probably go.  And who knows?  Maybe I will stay for the vagina lecture this time.

Been A Long Time

I haven't posted in a while and I really promised myself I would post more.  Since I was resting for three weeks, there wasn't much to post.

I had two decent runs this week and one not so great one.  My body is returning slowly.

One of my good runs was on Tuesday.  It was with two friends from my jogging group. One of them liked to stop and walk a lot which was fine with me.  It was still a great workout and probably much better for my tendinitis.  We went 6.2 miles and then had coffee at Starbucks.  I grabbed a large black coffee, excuse me; a Venti.  I don't know why that drives me nuts, but it does.  Can't we just say small, medium and large?  Anyway, that is a silly pet peeve and I don't expect anyone to agree with me on it.  Or should I say, if you don't agree with me you are a big poo poo head, so there?

The next day, I only did about two miles on my treadmill.  One was a jog.  One was a walk.  I also walked outside with my husband once or twice this week.  It is hard to keep track of my weeks between homeschool, exercise, housework, etc.  I am also looking for a part time job which will just add to the crazy if I ever get hired.

Today I had the choice between jogging with my friend Sandie at 7:50 and my friends Lhia and Jamie at 9:00.   I said, "Yes please," to both.  Sandie and I did 3.4 miles together and then I did 3 miles with Lhia and Jamie.  Well, actually I did 2.2 with them, broke off, and headed back to my car, for a total of 3 even.

The run with Sandie was a slower run.  The second run really pushed me.  Sometimes it is good to run with somebody faster as long as they don't mind slowing a bit for you.  It makes me push myself more and sometimes I even surprise myself.  Today my body was going, "Ahhhhh, stop please!"  However, I kept pushing on, if only because I didn't want to look like a wimp in front of my friends.  Who says we outgrow peer pressure?

I have ordered some compression socks. I can't wait for them to come in.  They are bright pink.  I wish I had seen the blue ones before I ordered the pink ones, as I liked that color even better.  That's okay.  I will rock the pink!

I am running a 5K tomorrow, not for time, just because it only cost fifteen dollars and the shirt was cute.  It is a women's only 5K, which is pretty nice too.

Have a great weekend all!

Cleared for Take-off

Wow, this should be my non-jogging, jogging blog.  I have pretty much been out of commission for three weeks so there has not been a lot to write about.

Today I went to an orthopedist/sports doctor.  My Achilles Tendinitis is healing up better than I expected.  Hooray!  I wish he hadn't insisted on taking x-rays.  I can't wait to get the bill for those.

I am only to add ten percent a week to my mileage and I am to avoid hills.  Did I mention I live in the foothills?  The hill part might pose a bit of a challenge.

Anyway, I'm still sore, but improving.  I hope the bump on the back of my right heel goes away.  I will be ready for Hood to Coast in August.  Knock on wood.  And I really, really wish I had the money for some compression socks.

That is all.

I Can See Clearly Now, The Wheat is Gone

Disclaimer:  If bad language offends you, do not read this post!


I am now on day eight of what I shall refer to as "the motherfucking diet."  Pardon my offensive language, but no other word is strong enough to describe how I feel when on a diet.  I am trying to look at it as choosing to treat my body in a healthy, loving way, but my body isn't buying it.  My body is screaming, "Bitch, where's the cake?"

I have an addictive personality.  I freely admit it.  In my youth, it was alcohol and other banned substances.  Once I grew up and became a "mature" Mom, I switched completely over to food.  It's a legal substance, and it doesn't generally affect your parenting abilities except when you are arm wrestling the kids over the last bowl of ice cream.

Let me tell you about me and wheat.  Take pizza for example, delicious, oozing, cheesy pizza.  I can start chewing on a piece of pizza.  It's more of an inhale than a chew.  My mood will utterly and completely change.  I calm down.  I get glassy-eyed.  I sit on the couch with a sense of satisfaction and contentment.  In short, I get a bit stoned.  In what is surely a startling coincidence, wheat makes me gain weight!  Ha ha.

I started my Weight Watchers points on Monday.  I do the old school, original points, not the flex points. I don't take points for exercise or I would never lose weight.  And the hardest thing of all for me, I eat very little wheat.

I am subsisting on spinach smoothies, cabbage soup, fat free refried beans,corn tortillas, salad, salad, salad, and Morningstar Veggie Patties, which do contain a bit of wheat.  I have lost four pounds, which isn't bad.  However, with the amount of effort I'm expending, it seems like I should have lost twice that by now.

The worse part is, I'm very, very crabby.  I deal with my moods by eating.  That is what soothes me.  The only other thing that soothes me is jogging.  I was diagnosed with Achilles Tendonitis yesterday so I can't jog for two weeks.  Be afraid of me, very afraid.

The odd thing is how clear headed I feel.  My mind is sharp.  I don't have that usual fuzzy-head, fatigue thing going on.  Nope. I'm wide awake to endure every moment of my food-deprived misery.  Yay me!

If you are a fan of the television show Supernatural, you might recall the season that was about the leviathans  The leviathans were monsters that ate people.  They decided to first make the people docile so they would be easier to slaughter.  So they purchased the company responsible for making corn syrup.  They tweaked the recipe a bit, and everyone who ate processed foods was just standing and staring, in a fog, drugged to the gills, and not giving a crap about much of everything.  Kind of funny, huh?

Are food corporations our equivalent of leviathans?  Keep the people addicted.  They'll keep coming back for more.

Anyway, here I sit sucking on my spinach smoothie, thinking of Little Caesar's Pizza.  It's not the best in the world, but it's cheap and fast.  Hopefully my body adjusts soon and I can think of other things besides all the foods I shouldn't have.  For now, I shall have to remind myself to watch my temper, watch my mouth, and treat those around me with love.  It's not their fault I'm an addict..

A Saturday Run

My last real run was Monday and it was on my treadmill.  After I was done, I noticed both heels hurt a bit, and then I noticed they had odd bumps on the back.  The right one is especially bumpy.

Okay...so of course I went to Doctor Google.  Doesn't everyone?  If I am correct, I have something called Haglund's Deformity.  It happens when your Achilles tendon is tight or somewhat short.  Right where your Achilles tendon hits your heel, the back of your feet get irritated and you form a bump.  Normally this happens to women who wear heels.  I'm 5'9" tall.  I have NEVER been comfortable in heels.  I have been doing hill running though and that can exacerbate it.  Monday is my doctor's appointment. I shall see then.

I forced myself to slow down.  I walked with my husband and son Tuesday.  I jogged a little bit, but just a little bit.  Then I speed walked with a friend on Thursday.  Friday was weights and abs only.

By today I thought, "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"  I'm good at resting if it's because I'm feeling lazy, but not good at resting if it's due to an injury.  That's right.  It has to be my idea.  As one can imagine, I was a total treat when I was a teenager.

Since I am training for an upcoming run, which is how I received the injury in the first place, I decided to add some mileage.  I went to a local park that has a small lake, about a mile around.  I was running on dirt and not pavement and it wasn't too hilly.  I tried to stretch my Achilles tendon well first.  Then around that lake I went.

I was not fast and it is funny how quickly a 55 degree day can feel ever so much hotter.  A cute little boy said hi to me.  I stopped and told him hi back.  He was adorable.  His Mom spent a lot of time out there with him today, just sitting and looking at the geese and the lake.  She's the kind of Mom I would like to be.  I am not nearly so patient.  With my kids, it would be ten minutes of goose gazing and then I would say, "Are we done yet?"  Alternately, I wouldn't mind reading a book while they goose gazed.  But that's not what kids really want.  They want you to look at them and answer their questions and listen to their observations.  So kudos to that Mom for really getting it and being there for her boy.  I should add I'm not the worst parent in the world, but I do not excel at the whole living in the moment thing.

Around the lake I was trotting.  My heel bump wasn't hurting too bad.  I wasn't breaking any speed records, but that is par for the course.  At mile three, I decided to see if I could set a new record for my mile time.  So I started pounding my feet and thinking in my head, "Fast, fast, fast, fast!"  Before a half mile was up, I was already checking my watch.  Was I done yet? Nope.  Fast, fast, huff, fast, puff.  My legs were feeling like lead but I pushed it.  When I was at .8, I was breathing like a locomotive.  Puff, fast, puff, fast, puff.  I pushed on to make it a whole mile, and I set a new speed record, for me.  Then I took time to be really glad nobody was right there at the end of my run to hear me laboring for air like I had just finished a marathon, not a measly mile.  After that, my times were much slower.  There was a lot more walking.  My back hurt and I had worn myself out.

At one point, a fellow jogger waved to me and smiled. I think he was smiling at my red sweaty face.  I don't blame him.  I did look pretty funny.

Finally, finally my six miles were finished.  I went home and took a Motrin because my butt cheeks hurt.  Yes, I said it and I'll say it again.  My butt cheeks hurt.  One day after a run, my daughter became upset with me for moaning, "Oh my ass."  So then I crept up on her and said, "Oh mi culo!"  Snicker.

My butt hurts no more but the back of my right heel is burning and stinging. It is most unhappy with me.  I look at it this way. It will be nice and swollen for my doctor's appointment Monday.

I posted my run to Strava and shared it in my Facebook diet group.  Then I typed, "When I win this contest, I will need to buy some new jogging shoes."  Smack talk is encouraged in the group.  We also post pictures of ice cream and doughnuts and talk about Sees chocolate.  We are masochists, all.

As far as weight loss goes, I am only down two pounds.  I'm trying but it is so much harder to gain it, than it is to lose it.  If it weren't for the money, I would have probably said, "screw it," by Wednesday.

I am glad to be done with the long run for the week.  Tomorrow I go with friends and it is a more manageable three miler.  They are also much better company then my mp3 player.

Apples to Apples

 It might come as quite a surprise to anyone reading, but I like to eat. I like to eat a lot. I probably jog around 18-20 miles a week and I am still gaining weight. That's how much I like to eat. Hey, food is yummy.

 I have the classic apple body shape. I hold a large amount of weight in my belly and around my waist. This is what the experts call heart attack fat. There is also a family history of heart disease so double whammy for me. This should be my wake-up call. Yet, I will never stop loving food.

 Here comes the part that makes me want to cry. I am on a diet, an actual eat less than usual and make it healthy diet. I hate diets. However, a friend on Facebook is having a challenge. She has it every year and I have never joined. Everybody puts in twenty dollars and the top three winners each get a share of the cash. I really, really want some cash. I really, really need a new pair of jogging shoes. I also freely confess that I want to run faster and I am hoping taking off some weight will help.

 I'd like to lie and say I will continue on with my heart nurturing food habits after the contest but I would be lying. Heart nurturing food is so rarely soul nurturing food, now is it? When you are sad because the kids picked on your son at the playground, do you go for the Twinkie or the carrot stick? Yeah, that's what I thought. I know it's not just me. Go to any pot luck and you will see the bacon filled croissants getting snarfed up way faster than the veggie tray. Nobody ever says, "Wow, your veggie tray was the hit of the party." Puh-lease!

 Today I have had a spinach smoothie, a veggie burger, a salad, more carrots on the side, two cups of kettle corn and a few fried veggie sticks. Those are glorified potato chops for those of you not in the know. All I can think of is food. There was a burger commercial on the radio that I have never paid attention to before. Mmmmm burger. My friend Laelee's blog had a strawberry cake recipe. Mmmmm cake. Right now my family's dinner is cooking in the oven. Mmmm curried pork. I'm dying here!

People who say that no food tastes as good as being thin obviously have been eating the wrong fattening foods in the first place. I'm sure they weren't eating cake or pie or chocolate bars. Or maybe they have much greater willpower than I do. There is that possibility.

 I only have to hang on until June 1st. And then...watch out cake. I'm coming for you!

Freezer Cooking

I intend the majority of posts on here to be about jogging, but I also have other interests, one of which is cooking.  Recently, I called out to my facebook friends for help and asked them what their average per month grocery bill was for a family of four.  One mom with a family of five, was only spending five hundred dollars.  Boy was I impressed.  Some families were over a thousand dollars, which is very easy to do with today's grocery prices.  The families that budgeted and planned meals thought eight hundred dollars was a pretty decent sum.

I don't know about any of you, but the cost of groceries has been killing us.  We are a family of four who eats like a family of six!  I'm not a fat chick without reason!  My friend who spends five hundred dollars a month referred me to her blog.  It is freezerfriendly.blogspot.com

Rant ahead:  Please pardon my lack of a clickable link.   I am having a lot of trouble with the "new" blogger.  If I write html, and hit publish, my html code shows.  If I hit the button that says HTML and start composing, everything looks strange.  So maybe someday I'll figure this crap out, but I doubt it.

Anyway, I digress.  I checked out her blog and I was really impressed.  The idea is simple.  Think about that night you are running late and don't know what to cook for dinner.  You either grab takeout, or eat cereal, or buy what you can at the store without planning around sales.  With the exception of eating cereal, these are expensive options.  Plus I try to keep my son gluten-free and most take-out is not gluten-free.  That means even more expensive take-out, if I go with gluten-free pizza.  In my attempt to save money and time, I took some of my friend's ideas and utilized them today.  I have two meals ready to go and one meal marinating.

The first step was my Costco trip.  I purchased a pork loin for 2.13 a pound, two large packages of ground beef for 2.99 a pound, and four pounds of bacon for 3.50 a pound each.  Today I started on the pork.  You are supposed to do all your cooking in one day, but I have other things to do, like getting the old freezer dusted off and ready to go.

Last night I tried cooking twice as much meat for tacos as I usually do, so I could freeze some of that.  This probably works for most people.  Unfortunately if I cook twice as much, my family eats twice as much.  So that approach doesn't work for me.

But back to today.  One thing my friend had posted was a fajita recipe.  She assembled everything raw and then cooked it in the crock pot.  While I don't mind re-heating in the crock pot, my husband hates crock pot food.  No, I don't get it either, but it is what it is.

I googled a fajita recipe which called for fajita seasoning.  I found a seasoning recipe and made my own.  My spice cupboard is pretty well stocked and most store bought seasoning mixes have wheat.  I made my fajitas.  They were delicious even without the lime juice they called for.  I thought I had lime juice.  I was wrong.  It seems there is a dim memory of a bloody mary filled weekend, so I'm sure that's where it went.  So bam, fajitas made, cooled and frozen.  The day of, I will throw the frozen mix in the crockpot and heat it through on low, make some white rice and a salad, and serve it in tortillas with our toppings of choice.

The next thing I decided to try was a Thai marinade.  This also called for lime juice.  Note to self: Plan ahead next time.  At the moment, the pork is marinading. The marinade smells delicious.  I will cook it with onions and freeze it later.  This recipe calls for a peanut sauce.  I will save the sauce recipe and make it fresh to go over the meat when I cook it.  That's only because I don't currently have the sauce ingredients. Once again, this is a meal that will be served with rice.

The last part of the pork loin was carved into pork chops.  My friend's blog had a recipe where you rub your chops with dry Italian dressing mix, then add your oil and vinegar.  I made my own dry Italian dressing mix, rubbed it in, and then added the oil and vinegar.  Those I froze raw.  I will thaw them and bake them with potatoes some night.  They can also be grilled so if I play my cards right, maybe the husband could cook them.

Tomorrow I will cook up the hamburger.  I am making meatballs.  You bake them, freeze them individually on a cookie sheet and then put them in a baggie.  I am also making meatloaf.  (same recipe different shape - ha ha)  I can leave the meatloaf raw but I might bake it so it is quicker to reheat.

I am going to share the Thai recipe.  It was actually for chicken on skewers.  I'm too lazy to cook anything on skewers and I didn't have chicken.   It was 2.99 a pound at Costco for boneless, skinless and it is 2.49 a pound all the time at the local grocery store.  That's about the only thing cheap at the local grocery store.  Please note that we use gluten-free soy sauce, but I didn't specifically type that in the recipe.

So here is the Thai recipe if you are interested.  It was from the Costco Connection magazine.

Thai Marinated Grilled Chicken Skewers

Special Equipment
24 wooden skewers

3 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch cubes

Marinade
1/4 cup soy sauce
3 TBS firmly packed dark brown sugar
2 TBS fresh lime juice
2 TBS oil
1 TBS curry powder
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp finely minced fresh ginger (I used powder)
1/2 tsp ground cardamom

Peanut Coconut Sauce
1 can (13.5 ounces) coconut milk, not fat-free or light
1/4 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 TBS soy sauce
1 1/2 tsp curry paste

Soak the skewers in ice-cold water for 15 minutes to prevent them from burning.  Set aside.

Place the chicken in a medium bowl.  Prepare the marinade.  Whisk all of the ingredients together in a separate bowl.  Pour the marinade over the chicken and massage the meat with your hands for 1 minute to coat the cubes well.  cover the bowl and marinate in the fridge for at least one hour or as long as overnight.

Prepare the sauce.  Combine all of the ingredients in a saucepan and cook over medium heat for 3 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Remove from heat and set aside.

Spray a grill rack with nonstick cooking spray and set the ehat to high or use a grill pan.  Thread 6 to 8 meat cubes on each skewer.  When the girll is ready, cook the chicken for 8-10 minutes, turning the skewers over halfway through.  Remove the skewers from the grill and allow the chicken to rest for a few minutes before serving.

Serve the peanut coconut sauce alongside the chicken skewers. Makes 4 to 6 servings.

Variations:  Cubes of top sirloin beef or pork loin can be substituted for the chicken.

I am very excited to see how this works out for us.  I really hope to save money and have delicious meals every night.  Thanks for reading!

Ding, Ding Ding! We have a winner!

I mentioned in a prior post that I was searching for workout gear that was soft, and cute, and came in larger sizes.

I had ordered a clearance skirt/capri online from Kohl's in size 1X.  The company that makes it is called Tek Gear.

As soon as it came in the mail, I tried it in.  The capris are about two inches below my knees, which is a plus.  The material is super soft, another plus.  And...it fit my waist, so that is three checks in the plus column.

The only drawback is it wasn't totally flattering on me.  My pot belly looks bigger and my butt looks wider and flatter.  But you know what?  I really don't care.  I have a big belly and a flat butt so I'm sure it's no surprise to my running buddies.

It would be nice to have a longer workout t-shirt to go with it, maybe in a gray or purple.  Also, I really heated up in these bottoms, so I think they will be more for winter workouts.

Overall, I think they were a great bargain.  They were less than twenty-three dollars before tax and shipping.

My only complaint is I can only seem to find Tek Gear options online at Kohls. There are a few items on Amazon, but none for plus sized women.  I know my Canadiaan friends don't have Kohls, which stinks.

In summary, they weren't perfect, but they were close enough for now.  I shall continue my search.  If only my wallet would get with the program.

Not My Anus, Uranus

In addition to being a jogging Mom, I am also a homeschooling Mom.  My son has recently, finally, started doing more work on his own.

Since my husband telecommutes, I can give my son some school work to complete, and then go out for a jog.  This week I gave him a handwriting assignment.  He had to list some things that were in the solar system.

When I came home and checked his paper, one of the things he had listed was "your anus".  Thinking he was being a smart ass, I told him he needed to erase "your anus."

He asked, "Isn't it a planet?"

I was still thinking he was being smart, and I said, "Yes, but it is spelled U-R-A-N-U-S."

He asked, "You mean I spelled it wrong?"

I was laughing so hard, I had to lean on the wall to stand up.  I do have to give him credit for spelling "your" and "anus" correctly.

The Search for the Perfect, Full-Figured Running Outfit

When I first started running, I didn't realize I needed special clothes.  I understand they are not a necessity but they are supposed to wick the moisture away from a person's body and make a run less miserable.  Since I sweat like a sinner in church, I suppose every little bit of advantage helps.  My more experienced runner friends urged me to give "real" running clothes a try.

I am a cotton girl.  I love the feel of cotton.  This goes for my daily wardrobe as well as the clothes I wear to work out.  I want something soft on my skin, a material that caresses my skin, not makes me feel like recoiling from it.  That is problem number one for me with running clothes.  Most of them have that polyester feeling material and I don't care for it. I have begrudgingly managed to wear some workout gear, but can't stand the way most of it feels.

Another issue for me is price.  Let's face it.  Running clothes are not cheap.  Forty dollars seems to be the average starting point for some decent capris.  Shirts aren't much better, and that is on the low end of the pricing spectrum.

And now we come to problem number three - fit!  I don't want a cling to my every bulge workout shirt.  I don't want it huge and shapeless either.  I want that happy medium where it is somewhat fitted but skims the parts I don't want to display to the world.  Running bottoms are also problematic for me as far as finding the right fit.  My legs are in pretty good shape, but I have always been really large in the waist.  It is the way I am built, the classic apple shape.  So even though I can wear XL bottoms: in most clothes, I can't wear an XL in workout clothes.  The waist runs smaller than typical clothing sizes.

Race t-shirts are all over the size spectrum also.  I might order an XXL in one race and have it fit perfectly and then it is too small or too huge in the next race.  The last half-marathon I ran in had a too small shirt, but it looked great on a friend of mine, so I was happy to hand it over.

I love the look of the running capris with a skirt attached.  I really want a pair.  I might as well wear something cute while I'm sweating, right?   Lucy had some online clearance right after Christmas and there were some bottoms with black capris and a turquoise skirt.  I put an XL in my cart with my fingers crossed.  Unfortunately, their inventory system sucks and I was later told it was unavailable.  That was my first and last order with Lucy.  The customer service lady was very nice, but I felt misled.

I heard Tasc workout gear is great and feels like cotton, but when I went on their website, a large was the biggest I could find.  There were also no skort/capri combos and they were prohibitively expensive.

When my birthday came, my Mom gave me an Amazon gift certificate for 75.00.  I had been eyeballing something called the Lotta Breeze.  I eagerly ordered an XXL in a cute print.  When it came, it actually fit, but the skirt was kind of poofy and the seams on the inner thighs were excruciating.  So back it went.  Other reviews of it were glowing so maybe it was just me.  Anyway,  I ordered a new coffee pot with my refund.  A coffee pot is something that always fits.

I have also eyeballed a Fila skirt combo on Amazon, but I'm not sure it will fit my waist.  I also hate paying for return shipping.  Shopping online for clothes is such a crapshoot.

Recently I found a Tek Gear skirt/capri online at Kohl's.  It was only 22.80 so I decided to gamble one last time.  If it is too big or too scratchy, I will just give up with online ordering. I may even say, "To heck with it," and go back to cotton.

To anybody who is reading, have you had any issues with workout gear?  What is your solution?  Do you pay more?  Do you wear cotton?  Are you just happy to be out and about and think I am being ridiculous about the whole thing?  Any recommendations for a frustrated fat chick?

I really hope those new running capris fit.  If they do, then it will be time to find the perfect shirt.  After that, on to sports bras!

Jogging, the Cure for Constipation

Let's talk about poop.  We all do it, but it's not really something we like to scream about from the rooftops now, is it?

When I first started jogging, I had a lot of bowel issues.  I would be mid-run and suddenly I had to poop.  And it wasn't a "we can wait until we get home" moment.  It was an "Oh my gosh we have to find a toilet right freaking now!" moment.

I don't like to poop in public.  I don't think most people do.  It's really silly because it's not like I ever walk in a public restroom and think badly of somebody for pooping. But I don't want to be the pooper!

One time, when picking up my oldest daughter from the airport, I had a stomach cramp attack.  When I got to the airport, I went in the bathroom and of course it was filled with ladies.  I had to go so bad but I couldn't be THE POOPER.  So I walked out, purchased some things in the gift shop, and sneaked back in the bathroom.  Miraculously, nobody was there.  I pooped as fast as I could, jumped up, washed my hands, and speed walked on out of the bathroom.  Hallelujah!  Nobody had caught me pooping!

But back to running and pooping.  My body had a hard time adjusting when I first started jogging, and I did have to poop in some public places a few times.  Boy did I did pray that nobody knew. I know it's silly, I know!  Why get so embarrassed over a natural body function?

I was discussing my issues with a friend and she told me that putting a few drops of essential oil in the toilet before you go helps hide the smell.  I tried it and got back to her.  It didn't work for me.  Then she asked if I was using strong essential oils like eucalyptus or rosemary.  I wasn't, so I will need to try those. There is also a product I want to try called "Just a Drop." It is sold on Amazon and you put it in the toilet before you go.  Then, supposedly, there is no poop smell.  It gets rave reviews. 

Here is what I don't recommend.  I don't recommend taking Immodium AD before your first half marathon, or any long run.  You are only asking for trouble.  My problem used to be so bad that I did take one of those before my first half.  I got extremely dehydrated.  I had a lot of abdominal pain after the race and it took a few weeks for my gastrointestinal system to recover.  Besides, the toilets in races are port a potties.  If you do have to poop in one, nobody is going to know it's you since they smell so bad anyway.

I am happy to say that jogging no longer does such a number on my poor body.  I did have an incident earlier this week but it was my first one in some time.  I was 3.5 miles out and suddenly my gut cramped up.  It was clear there would be no more jogging until I found some facilities.  The problem was I had taken a new route.  I had only driven that route before and I didn't realize quite how far I was from the nearest potty spot.

I walked and I walked and I walked some more, muttering to myself, "Please don't let me poop my pants."  Two miles later I made it, barely.  There are some porta potties near a baseball field that were unoccupied.  Nobody was around.  I never, ever thought I would be so glad to see a porta pottie, but I was.

I then continued home, a little over another mile.  I won't call it my best run ever but I did lose weight!

I know this is a gross subject, but it's a real issue.  Everyone poops!

Fat Chick Jogging

It has been forever and ever since I blogged.  Facebook lured me with its siren song and I do not know if I will be more consistent with my new blog.  I hope so.

So much has changed in my life in the last few years.  Some things remain the same.  I love my family, but I am not always good at showing it physically.  I do a lot for them, so hopefully my kids know they have a loving mom who just happens to be cranky sometimes.  Maybe I need a hat that says, "The Crab is In," on those grouchy days.

I love to laugh.  My sense of humor is earthy. Some might say it is uncouth.  At least that's what my ex-sister in law would say.  But that's okay.  She's a bitch.  So who cares what she thinks.

We have finished with a lot of the autism therapies we used to have for my son.  There is no more ABA.  There are no more "how to make friends" classes.  There is no more physical therapy.  We do go to speech therapy once a week.  I homeschool my son.  When we do social things, I take him to gatherings where the other children accept him.  He does best with children much younger.  Kids his own age will look eager to play with him, but quickly drift away when he opens his mouth.  It is heartbreaking and I don't know if it will ever change.  However, he is happy.   He is healthy.  So I do count my blessings.  I continue to have hope for his future that one day there will be that one special friend who does everything with him, a friend who shares his interests and doesn't find him odd.  Some day...

My youngest daughter is almost fourteen.  She is in public school and gets great grades, except for in PE, where she gets C's.  My husband says he doesn't care about P.E.  I think people who were good in sports and loved P.E. will never understand what a painful thing it was for those of us who weren't good, and who were always picked last to be on the team.  Then our team yelled at us because we sucked.  I actually have really horrible memories of high school P.E.  It is too bad, because exercise is so important.  It took me until now to find something I really loved, which is jogging.  I'm not the fastest but I am faster than I used to be.  One thing my youngest excels at is band.  She plays the alto sax and she is really good.  She will be doing it throughout high school, which she just happens to enter next fall.  Yikes!

My oldest daughter is twenty-two.  She is married, living in Vegas, and making house payments.  She gave birth to my first grandchild, a girl, in January.  My granddaughter is, of course, the most gorgeous baby in the whole wide world.  She is bunches of sweet. I wish they lived closer, but California is not an affordable place to live.  We are thinking of leaving the state ourselves.  Sometimes we even bat back and forth the idea of leaving the country and moving to Canada.  Would Canada want us?  I don't know.

This blog is going to be about my life and about jogging.  Let me tell you about my jogging journey.  I started adding on to my occasional and infrequent two mile jogs at the end of February 2012.  I worked my way up to a half marathon and finished just shy of three hours.  My body was messed up for quite some time.  I could barely walk for three days.

Three to four months later, I finished my second half marathon.  It was amazing.  I made a much better time and only hurt for about a week.  It wasn't as painful as after my first half, thank goodness. 

In October, I entered a competition with a team and did a seven-mile leg in a marathon.  I felt guilty passing people who were doing the whole 26 miles on my fresh legs.  Next time I'm in a marathon, I want to run the whole thing.

I have been struggling lately with asthma and putting off workouts, but now I have a new goal to work toward.  A friend is letting me run a leg in the Hood to Coast race in Oregon in late August.  I think my total run will be about 17 miles.  It will be in three different segments.  So I have some motivation to practice now.  I can't let my team down.  Did I mention most of the run is uphill?  Good thing I live in an area with lots of hills to practice on.

I started out at 210 pounds, went down to 190 and am now back up to 196.  I ran thirteen minute miles when I started.  Now I run about elevens.  On a good day, I can do a 10:30.  I would like to lose some weight to see if it will help my run times.  But if I don't, I am still a healthy, big girl.

My weight is definitely part of who I am, just like my eye color is part of who I am.  It is not all of who I am.  I am a mother, a spouse and a friend.  I also happen to be overweight.  Many people think overweight people are lazy.  We are not.  There are tons of us out there exercising.  We are moving our bodies and feeling good about it.  We might not look like super models, but that's okay.  I'm not giving up my chocolate to fit society's idea of how I should look.  I am earning my chocolate with five mile runs, or jogs, whatever you want to call them.  And that's okay.

I hope this blog will be fun and sometimes funny, but I had to get my introduction out of the way.  Welcome, and I hope you enjoy visiting.